For Time and All Eternity

A family psychologist, John Gottman says that a good, strong marriage needs to be founded on friendship. For a friend, you would go out of your way to help them, you have fun together, you laugh with them. When you get married, you need to be marrying your best friend who you can do all of these things with. 

My husband and I met through my roommate four years ago this week. We became friends first and just hung out and did things together as friends. He was my best friend before we even thought about dating. He still is my best friend today. There have been points in our short marriage where we have had struggles, every marriage has them, but we tend to get over them fairly quickly because of our the times we work on things together. 

Something I learned about marriage very quickly is that it's not a 50/50 give and take or an I scratch your back you scratch mine kind of relationship. Marriage is giving and taking constantly without keeping track of I did this so you do that. A year and a half ago, I felt so frustrated, I was giving my all for my family and felt like I got very little back. My husband was in school and I was working and trying to take classes and pregnant and I had to pack and clean our whole apartment by myself because my husband was swamped with school. It was really hard and I felt hurt in the moment. I quickly realized that there will be times that I give more, but there are times that he gives more to me. 

There is a song by Ingrid Michaelson that I love when thinking about a strong marriage:

If you were falling, then I would catch you
You need a light, I'd find a match
'Cause I love the way you say good morning
And you take me the way I am

If you are chilly, here take my sweater
Your head is aching, I'll make it better
'Cause I love the way you call me baby
And you take me the way I am

I'd buy you Rogaine
When you start losing all your hair
Sew on patches to all you tear

'Cause I love you more than
I could ever promise
And you take me the way I am
You take me the way I am
You take me the way I am

 

I am so grateful for my husband and the sacrifices he has made for me. I am grateful for his love and support in the crazy that I am. I pray that everyone can find the joy that I have.